Witches' Hair Product
Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.
No Sex Hillary
A recent article in the Washington Post reported that Hillary Clinton sued Walter Reed Hospital, saying that after her husband Bill had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied: "President Clinton was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"
There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him because he was dressed in really colorful clothing. He had all this colorful make-up on and his hair was spiked up with red, green, & yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin' at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the old man answered. "Once I got so drunk that I screwed a parrot, so I can't help but think that maybe you're my son!"
Shark Week - UK
Q: Why is shark week so popular in the UK?
A: Because most people there have never seen so many shiny white teeth.