My wife didn’t like my joke about a prisoner with dwarfism falling out of a window...
...she said it was a little condescending.
Q: What the difference between a brunette and the trash?
A: The trash gets taken out once a week!
Old, Ugly, Blue
Q: What is old, ugly and blue?
A: A witch holding it's breath!
Q: How do you babysit black kids?
A: Wet their lips and stick them to the wall!
A fat teenager is sitting on a park bench eating a huge bag of potato chips.
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating too much junk food is bad for you." The boy looked over and replied, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate lots of junk food?"
"No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."