Holloween

Q: Why can't a ghost have sex??
A: Because he has a hollow weenie!

Teacher Error

The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Kaitlyn, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she announced. "One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free."
Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, "I'm not free. I'm four." 

Kimmel Halloween

During his Halloween special, Jimmy Kimmel was asking the audience questions about ghosts. "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" Five people raise their hand. Then he asked, "Who here has ever SEEN a ghost?" Three people raise their hand. Then he asked "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?"  One person, an old man raises his hand. So he goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" The old man replied, "Oh, it was great! Never had anything like it before!" Jimmy replied, "Really? So the ghost was good?" The old man said, "GHOST? I thought you said GOAT!"