Word Play Jokes

• Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish sandwich and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner!"- Lynda Montgomery
• "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."- Johnny Carson
• "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."- Paul Rodriguez
• And from George Carlin...If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
• If a no-armed man has a gun, is he armed?
• If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
• If you put a slinky on an escalator, would it go forever?
• If all babies are cute why are there so many ugly people in the world?
• What's another word for thesaurus?
• Why do they have Braille number pads at drive-through bank machines?
• Is it ok to go door-to-door selling "No Soliciting" signs?
• Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
• If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
• If talk is cheap, why is my mobile phone bill so high?
• Should bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
• Did the early settlers ever go on camping trips?
• How can a person get a life sentence & be eligible for parole in 15 years?

Q: What do whales take to stay healthy?

A: Vitamin Sea

Q: Why should you keep away from dermatologists?

A: They make rash decisions.

An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is a savage."

Q: What does a slice of toast wear to bed?

A: Jammies