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The best jokes and joke writers!



  • I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
  • I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
  • I have to floss my pets.
  • I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
  • I want to spend more time with my blender.
  • I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
  • I'm building a pig from a kit.
  • I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
  • I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
  • I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
  • .I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
  • I'm staying home to work on my mottled yogurt sculptures.
  • I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
  • I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
  • I've got plans to go downtown to try on gloves.
  • It's my parakeet's bowling night.
  • My patent is pending.
  • The nice man on television told me to say tuned.

Dave's Adventure

There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit and missing one tit, but think of the money he saved!

Dark Down Under

Q: What do you call 10,000 black dudes at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A damn good start.

Still Be Stupid

Insult: If you were any dumber, your head would implode.

Response: If you were a little bit more intelligent you'd still be stupid.

Opinion of A Fool

I don't think you are a fool. Then again what's my opinion against thousands of others?