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The best jokes and joke writers!

FDA Milk Labeling Rules

The new FDA milk labeling rules are so strict, it's now illegal to print a picture of a missing fat kid on a carton of skim milk.

Nail Biting

To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it'll make her very fat. "I won't do it any more, Mom," says the daughter. Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. "If I bite my fingernails, I'll be as fat as that, won't I Mom?" "You'll be fatter than that," says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a very pregnant lady. The little girl can't take her eyes off the woman's belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, "Excuse me, but do you know me?" And the little girl says, "No, but I know what you've been doing."

Yo Mama - Beach

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo Mama - Amusement Park

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo Mama - Eclipse

Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.