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The best jokes and joke writers!

Real Boy

Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

A: His hand caught fire.

Tell Me!

A husband and wife were fighting about their sex life.

"You never even tell me when you're having an orgasm!" he yelled.

"How can I?" she shot back. "You're never here!"

The Talking Banana

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?

A: Why the hell are you shaking? Shes gonna eat me!

Research Paper Excuses

A college professor had just finished explaining how important it was that a research project be turned in on time. He said there were only two acceptable excuses for late projects: 1) A certified medical excuse, or 2) A death in the student's immediate family.

A smart-ass student raised his hand and asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" As expected, this caused an explosion of laughter.

After the class had settled down, the professor froze the student with a glaring look and said, "Well, in that case, I guess you would just have to learn how to write with your other hand."

Professional Fisherman

Q: What do you call a professional fisherman?

A: A master baiter.