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The best jokes and joke writers!

What a Guy

If sex with two other people is a threesome, and sex with three others is a foursome, then I guess that makes me handsome.

Clever Teacher

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever." A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

BB's

There was this family who lived in the country, and the father took his boy out shooting. When they came back later that day the father put his BB gun on the top of the stove and hurried to the bathroom. He set it down so fast and hard that it opened and the BB's from the gun went right into mother's spaghetti sauce. She had seen the BB's and just figured that they couldn't hurt anyone, so she just served dinner anyways. Later that night the little girl ran down stairs saying, "mommy mommy I just peed BB's!"
"Well did it hurt you?" said the mom.
"No" said the girl.
"O.K. then don't worry it will go away." Then the little boy runs down stairs,
"Mommy mommy I just peed BB's!"
"Well did it hurt" she says?
"No" says the boy.
"O.K. then don't worry about it, it will go away." Later that night the father rushes down the stairs with his pants down -
"Honey, honey, I was just up stairs jacking off and I shot the dog!"

An Orgasmic Problem

A woman went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out an outrageous yell." "My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "he keeps waking me up!"

Gift of Her Choosing

Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. "That way," he explains, "if she doesn't like one, she can use the other." The second man says he had bought his wife a sports car and a limo for exactly the same reason. The third man says, "I bought my wife a negligee and a vibrator. That way, if she doesn't like the negligee, she can go screw herself."