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The best jokes and joke writers!

ABCP

One day there was a boy at school. He needed to go to the toilet. The teacher said "Say your ABCs first" The boy started saying "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z" The teacher asked at the end "Where is your P?" The boy answered "Running down my pants!!"

Capital of America

Two school kids are talking while having a lunch break.
Girl: What is the capital of America?
Boy: Washington D. C.
Girl: No! "A" is the capital of America. You already forgot our lesson: capitalize proper nouns!

Move Your Cars Please.

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the high school intercom:  "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:  "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class."

Dog Trees

"Some plants," said the teacher, "have the prefix 'dog'. For instance, there is the dogrose, the dogwood, the dogviolet. Now who can name another plant prefixed by 'dog'?" "I can," shouted a student. "cauliflower!"

English Final Problem

At a high school an English teacher is busy with work as a student approaches the teacher and asks when the test final test will be. She tells the whole class and a smart-ass jock raises his hand. "What if that day I just stayed home because I was sexually exhausted?" "Well, I guess you'd just have to use your other hand to write with."