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The best jokes and joke writers!

Freshman Anatomy

A classroom full of freshman medical students is anxiously awaiting their first human anatomy lesson..

When the door opens the professor rolls in a naked dead body of an old man lying face down. He places it in the center of lecture hall and in a stiff voice says, "Before learning human anatomy there are two important things you need to remember."

"First, you should be fearless." The professor then sticks his finger in the dead-body's butt hole and then puts it in his mouth. Seeing this the students are stunned and disgusted. The professor then said in a commanding voice, "Everyone line up and do exactly what I just did." With great hesitation and disgust, every student repeated what their professor did.

After the initial commotion settled down and everyone had their turn, the professor said, "The second thing you need to remember is the importance of having a keen sense of observation. Some of you noticed that I stuck my index finger in the butt hole and put my ring finger in my mouth."

The `Way You Say It

 A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?" The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied. The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL??"

Grade Lift

A beautiful woman walks into her professor's office...

Woman: "I really need to get an A in this course. What can I do to get an A?"

Professor: "Is getting an A really that important?"

Woman (seductively): "Yes, I would do anything to get an A".

Professor: "Anything?"

Woman (seductively): "Yes, anything."

Professor: "Would you study?"

College Rules

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?" One student asked, "How much for a season pass?"

13 Pranks for College Lecture

1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY." (At Least for the Male profs.)
4. Address the professor as "your excellency."
5. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
6. Relive your Junior High days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard erasers.
7. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been drinking.
8. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
9. Sit in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.
10. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?" Become agitated when the professor can't understand you.
11. Wink at the professor every few minutes. (Hey you might even get a date if he/she is cute.)
12. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup Sheet #5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
13. Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.