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Buckwheat 'n Darla
Buckwheat and Darla were in school and the teacher asked Darla, 'How do you spell 'dumb'? "Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb.". The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence." She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."
"Now spell 'stupid'. "Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d." The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence." Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."
Then the teacher called on Buckwheat and asks, "Buckwheat, spell 'dictate'." Buckwheat stands up and says, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate." The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in the a sentence." "I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"
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Full Disclosure
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist tells him that the condoms come in packs of three, nine, or 12, and asks which ones the young man wants. "Well," he says, "Ive been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's the night. We're having dinner with her parents and then we're going out. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack!" The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he may give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
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Three Wishes
It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a country road, when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping out. The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's Ass." The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's Ass." Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark."
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