U.S. State Jokes - New York Jokes
Texas vs. New York
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: "So, where y'all from?" The New York girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"
After several years of serving the church in a far away land, a priest is requested to report to his new assignment at a church in the South Bronx, New York. He set out immediately to learn the new culture by taking a walk down the street in plain clothes. On his way, a loose looking woman approaches him and in a lowered voice says, "Hey Buddy... blow job 25 bucks." The priest glares at her confused and says, "What's a blow job?" The woman is just as confused and says, "What are you a comedian?" and walks off. The priest, undaunted, walks on to the next block and again another seedy looking woman confronts him and again repeats, "Hey mister, blow job 25 bucks." The priest quickly replies, "What is this blow job!?" The woman looks at him surprised and thinking something's wrong hurries off. The priest, now very curious, returns to the church to ask anyone he can find what exactly a "blow job" is. The priest sees the mother superior and says, "I have a question -- What's a blow job?" Mother superior quickly goes to shut the door and upon returning to her seat she replies in a whisper. "Same as on the outside... 25 Bucks."
New Yorker Quit His Job
A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: "I have to warn you though, there will be a lot of drinking at this party." The city slicker said no problem. "There will also be sex going on." No problem he responded. "Well, There will probably be some fighting too." I think I can handle myself, claimed the new neighbor. As he rode off, he turned and asked the party host. "By the way, what should I wear at the party" The man, responded "Oh, it don't matter, It's only going to be me and you!"
Unfamiliar with a Term
These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker. A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage? "The Saudi says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's meat?" The North Korean says, "What's an opinion?" The New Yorker, says, "Excuse me?? What's excuse me?"
New Yorkers Arrived
One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang. walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, "God, there are some evil, thieving New Yorkers at the Pearly Gates. What do I do?". God replied, "Just do what you normally do with that type. Re-direct them down to hell." St. Peter went back to carry out the order and all of a sudden he comes running back yelling "God, God, they're gone, they're gone!" "Who, the New Yorkers?". "No, the Pearly Gates."