Lost and Found
Buried my grandmother in the wrong plot.
That was a grave mistake.
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her older sister just come out of the shower. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks, "What's that?" Her sister replies, "That is my possum, sis!" The young girl replies, "Oh, Okay." The next day she sees her mother get out of the shower and a pointing at her pussy again asks, "What's that?" Her mother replies, "That's my possum!" The young girl again replies "Oh, Okay." The next day she sees her grandmother getting out of the shower and once again pointing at her pussy asks, "What's that?" The grandmother replies "That's my possum!" The young girl replies "Oh, grandmother, is your possum dead?" The grandmother, looking a little dazzled replies "No, deary, why do you ask?" The young girl replies "Oh, its just that your possums tongue is sticking out!"
There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. The grandmother says sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that. He is going to try to feel your breast, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs, you are going to like that but, don't let him do that. Most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that but, don't let him do that, it will disgrace the family. With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just like she said; "I didn't let him disgrace the family though, when he tried I turned over, got on top of him and disgraced his family!"
A young man walks up to his granny and asks her, "Granny, have you seen my pills? They're marked LSD." She replies, "Forget the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen!?"
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow. " Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!"