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The best jokes and joke writers!

Beach Genie

Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?" The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, "I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant-um you one wish." And I said, "No shit."

Shooting the Shit

An American-Indian walks into a saloon with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of manure in the other.

The Indian says to the bartender, "Me want beer!"

The bartender says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up." He then serves the Indian a tall glass of beer. The Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure into the air, and blasts it with the shotgun. He then walks out, leaving everyone in the bar in shock 

Five days later, the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and another bucket of manure in the other.

He struts up to the bar and tells the bartender, "Me want beer!"

The bartender says, "Whoa there Chief, we're still cleaning up from the last time you were here. What was that all about, anyway?" he asked.

The Indian explained, "Me training for job as government employee. Drink beer, shoot the shit, disappear for a few days, then come back and see if somebody else has cleaned up the mess me left behind."

Many Moons

There was a cowboy who went to the outhouse. He heard some noise, so he looked inside, and lo and behold there was an Indian down in the hole. The cowboy said, "How long have you been down there?" The Indian replied, "Many moons."

Custer's Last Thoughts

The curator of an art gallery asked an artist for a painting depicting General Custer's last thoughts. Two weeks later, the artist unveiled the painting, an enormous canvas with a lovely blue lake painted in its center, with a fish leaping from the water with a shining halo around its head. On the shores of the lake were the most detailed pictures of Indians fornicating. After gazing at the painting for some time, the enraged curator demanded to know what the theme was supposed to be. The artist said, "You asked for a painting of Custer's last thoughts," he explained. "That's it. Custer was thinking, 'Holy mackerel, where did all those fucking Indians come from?'"

Great memory!

A tourist was introduced to an Indian in New Mexico who was said to have a perfect memory. Skeptical, the tourist asked, "What did you have for breakfast on September 10, 1943?" The Indian answered, "Eggs." The man scoffed, "Everyone eats eggs for breakfast. He's a phony." Thirteen years later the traveler's train stopped again in the small New Mexico town, and he saw the same Indian sitting on the train platform. The tourist went up and said jovially, "How!" The Indian answered, "Scrambled."