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The best jokes and joke writers!

Arkansas Fertility Clinics

Q: Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

A: Sooner or later, they find a potent cousin.

Dental Profession in Arkansas

Q: Why are there hardly any dental professionals in Arkansas?

A: Because it takes 35 patients to make a full set of teeth.

Temperatures and What They Mean

Temperatures and What They Mean

40 Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.

35 Italian cars don't start.

32 Water freezes.

30 You can see your breath. Politicians begin to worry about the Homeless.

25 Boston water freezes. Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you.

20 Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream. You can hear your breath.

15 N.Y. City water freezes. Politicians begin to talk aobut the homeless.

12 You plan a vacation to Mexico.

10 Too cold to snow

5 You need jumper cables to get the car going. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

3 You plan a vacation in Houston.

0 Too cold to skate. American cars don't start.

-5 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.

-10 Too cold to think. Politicians actually do something about the homeless.

-15 Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-20 You plan a 2-week hot bath.

-25 The mighty Monongahela freezes. Japanese cars don't start.

-30 Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button... Below

-30 The kids call home from college. End of the world...

Riding Along

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off. "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant. "Nothing," shrugged the woman, "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off." "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback..."

State Capitals

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde.

Her friend tells her, "Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?"

The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!"

The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the capital of Montana?"

The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"