Q: What did Elvis say after he was bitten my a vampire?
A: Fang you, Fang you very much!
Q: What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?
A: I scream
Deep Fried Santa
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.
The old couple were celebrating Valentine's day after 50 years of marriage. They were sitting at the breakfast table when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting there naked as a jaybird, too!" "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times." Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I'm not surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
Q: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?
A: A sour puss.