Animal Jokes - Bird Jokes
Knock Knock - Owls
That's right! Owls hoo!
Penguin Field Trip
A bus driver on his route sees a van from the zoo stranded on the side of the road. The zoo worker offers the bus driver $100 to help him deliver two dozen penguins. The bus driver agrees and loads the penguins on the bus. An hour later, the zoo worker gets his van fixed and heads to the zoo. On the road, he sees the bus driver and the penguins driving in the opposite direction. He catches up to the bus and pulls them over. The zoo worker yells, "I gave you a $100 to take the penguins to the zoo for me. Why are you still driving them around?" "Calm down," the bus driver says, "I did take the penguins to the zoo. We had change left over, so now I'm taking them to the movies."
Two Eagles Are Soaring Along
Two eagles are soaring along when suddenly a passenger jet screams past them. One eagle says to the other, "Wow, did you see how fast that thing was moving?" The other replies, "Yeah. You'd move fast too if you had three assholes and they were all on fire!"
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken!
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."