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The best jokes and joke writers!

There's A Parrot On The Plane

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot's approach
"I've asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you". The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says
"For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

Knock Knock - Owls

Knock knock

Who's there?

Owls

Owls who?

That's right! Owls hoo!

Turkey Snacks

Q: Why do turkeys eat so little?

A: Because they are always stuffed!

Duck Treat

Q: What do ducks like to eat?

A: Quackers!

Seagull

Q: What do you call a seagull flying over the bay?

A: A bagel.