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The best jokes and joke writers!

Turkey Shoping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Knock Knock - Owls

Knock knock

Who's there?


Owls who?

That's right! Owls hoo!

Parrot and Centipede

Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?

A: A great walkie-talkie!

Duck Doctor

Q:  What kind of doctor treats ducks?

A:  A quack!

Goofy Wonderings

  • Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
  • If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
  • In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
  • How come there aren't B batteries?
  • If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of times per minute, then why do they give it to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  • How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
  • How do you throw away a garbage can?
  • How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
  • What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
  • Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
  • Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
  • What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
  • When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
  • What happened to the first 6 "ups"?