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The best jokes and joke writers!

Book Talk

Q: What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book? 

A: I've already got a lot of problems, and I don't need any of your drama.

Local Concert

Last month, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th symphony. However, it being quite hot, the players were working up quite a sweat, until a neighbor let them use the ventilators in her house. However, the wind from these ventilators was causing the notes to blow all over the place, so they had to tie them down to the note holders. The din from the ventilators was so bad that the bassists decided it didn't matter if they downed a few drinks and got royally drunk. Two of the bassists got so drunk that they pass out. One of the violinists, in disgust, decided to go home but slipped and fell. Thus, it was the bottom of the 9th, the bassists were loaded, the score was tied with two men out, and the fans were roaring wild when one of the players slid home.

Pet Mouse

My pet mouse Elvis died last night. He was caught in a trap.

Mike Tyson and Metallica Concert

Q: What do Mike Tyson and a Metallica concert have in common?

A: At a Metallica concert you get ringing in the ears, and at a Mike Tyson fight, you get ears in the ring!

Beethoven's Chicken

Q: Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?

A: It kept saying ''Bach, Bach, Bach...''