Q: What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book?
A: I've already got a lot of problems, and I don't need any of your drama.
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards." He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."
Q: What's the most musical part of a turkey?
A: The drumstick!
My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.
Shark Week - Favorite Song
Q: What's a hammerhead shark's favorite song?
A: U Can't Touch This