You Might Be A Redneck If - Continued

You might be a redneck if...

• You have to check your coke can before you take a drink just in case you have mistaken it for your spit can.
• You have accidentally taken a drink from your spit can.
• Your wife asks you what you want to be when you grow up.
• You see a forest fire and think 'Bar-B-Q'.
• You've ever strained your tea through a flyswatter.
• Your mother is hairier than your father.
• Instead of flossing you use a plunger.
• You take the back window out of your pickup because it's easier to chuck the empty beer cans in the back that way. When the back fills up with empty beer cans, you get another pickup and start all over again.
• Your grandma can bench press a truck axle.

You Might Be A Redneck

You might be a redneck if...

• You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.
• You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
• Your secret family recipe is illegal.
• Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
• Your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the yard.
• Your coat-of-arms features kudzu.
• Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
• You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.
• Your best ashtray is a turtle shell.
• Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

Shady Dog

Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade?
A: Because he didn't want to be a hot dog!