Women vs. Dogs

Q: What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman hollering on the back porch?
A: If you let them both inside, the dog will stop barking.

Cats And Men

• They don't listen.
• They don't come in when you call.
• They like to stay out all night.
• Only when you are trying to get things done do they want your attention.
• Mostly, they like to be left alone to sleep.

Herder On Trial

The strident prosecutor begins: ''Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the State will prove that this defendant did in fact discard his breeches and insert his member into the innocent sheep; that he did ejaculate into said sheep and remove his member, whereupon this sheep turned around and licked his member clean.'' Then one member of the jury turned and whispered to the other juror and said, ''The good ones will do that you know."