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The best jokes and joke writers!

One Wish

Two guys, of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface. After floating under blazing heat, for 6 days, they ran out of food and water. On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an old oil lamp (the kind that genies come in). They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. Out popped a tired old genie who said, "OK, so you freed me from the stupid lamp, but hey, I've been doing this 3-wishes stuff for a while now and quite frankly, I'm burned out. You guys only get 1 wish and then I'm outta here. Make it a good one." The first guy, blurted out, without thinking, "Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!" "Fine," said the genie, and he instantly turned the entire ocean to beer. "Great move, Einstein", said the second guy, slapping the first guy in the side of the head. "Now we're gonna have to piss in the boat."

Dumb Jock

He's such a dumb jock, that when he was driving to the airport, he saw a sign that read, "Airport Left," and he turned around and went home.

West Virginia Romance

The West Virginian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked. "No," he replied. A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?" "No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."

Yo Mama - Operator

Yo mama so stupid, she put the operator on speed dial.

Yo Mama - Copycat

Yo mama so stupid that when she looked in the mirror, she said stop copying me!