A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."
I love taking the kids to the park. The laughter. The joy. The shouts of "Higher! Push me higher!" and their shouts of "Dad, when's it my turn on the swing?"
Written By: KielPhillips
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. ...Clarence Darrow
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Parent's Dictionary of Meanings
Dumb Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.
Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-Minute Warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words.
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house