Blonde and Turtle Have in Common
Q: What does a blond and a turtle have in common?
A: When they lay on their backs they're screwed!
Blonde - Back Seat
This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of his car.
After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, "Do you want to move to the back seat?"
She replies, "NO!"
Flabbergasted, he says, "Why not?"
To which she replies, "Well, I want to stay up here with you. It'd be lonely back there!"
Blonde - License
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Message To Mom
A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!"
To that the man asks, "Anything??"
And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!"
With that, the man says, "Follow me." He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."
She does. He then says, "Get on your knees."
She does. He then says, "Take down my zipper."
She does. He then says, "Go ahead, take it out."
With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands. The man then says, "Well, go ahead!" She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello...Mom?"
One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She asks "Santa, will you stay with me?" Santa says, "Ho, Ho, Ho, I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!" She takes off her nightgown, and wearing only a bra and panties, she asks, "Santa, now will you stay with me?" Santa says, "Ho, Ho, Ho, I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!" She takes off everything and asks, "Santa, now will you stay with me?" Santa replies "Hey, Hey, Hey, I gotta stay, gotta stay! I can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"