Q: What does a blonde do after waking up?
A1: Go Home.
A2: Introduce herself to the guy on the bed.
Puddle in the Corner
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding in an elevator, when they see a small puddle in the corner. The brunette looks at it. ''That's definitely cum,'' she says. The redhead touches it. ''That's definitely cum,'' she says. The blonde takes a little taste. ''That's definitely cum, but nobody in our building.''
Blonde - Back Seat
This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of his car.
After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, "Do you want to move to the back seat?"
She replies, "NO!"
Flabbergasted, he says, "Why not?"
To which she replies, "Well, I want to stay up here with you. It'd be lonely back there!"
Blonde - License
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Message To Mom
A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!"
To that the man asks, "Anything??"
And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!"
With that, the man says, "Follow me." He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."
She does. He then says, "Get on your knees."
She does. He then says, "Take down my zipper."
She does. He then says, "Go ahead, take it out."
With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands. The man then says, "Well, go ahead!" She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello...Mom?"