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The best jokes and joke writers!

Cheating Boyfriend

A blonde complained to her friend, "I can never trust my boyfriend. Why, he cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his!"

Santa Surprise

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She asks "Santa, will you stay with me?" Santa says, "Ho, Ho, Ho, I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!" She takes off her nightgown, and wearing only a bra and panties, she asks, "Santa, now will you stay with me?" Santa says, "Ho, Ho, Ho, I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!" She takes off everything and asks, "Santa, now will you stay with me?" Santa replies "Hey, Hey, Hey, I gotta stay, gotta stay! I can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"

Professional Courtesy?

A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past. The blonde looked a the doctor, smiled seductively, and murmured in a very sexy voice, "Hi there handsome. How ya doing?" She then wiggled her backside and walked off. "Who was that?" demanded the doctor's wife."Er- just a woman I met professionally." stammered the doctor. "Oh yeah?" his wife snarled. "In whose profession? Yours or hers?"

Hardest Words

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know. The brunette's word is "quizzical." The redhead's word is "sardonic." The blonde's word is "d**k."

Blonde - Back Seat

This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of his car.

After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, "Do you want to move to the back seat?"

She replies, "NO!"

Flabbergasted, he says, "Why not?"

To which she replies, "Well, I want to stay up here with you. It'd be lonely back there!"