Bar Jokes

Irish Assault and Battery

In hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first place they stopped at. "Four glasses of ale," was the reply. "Next?" "Two glasses of whiskey." "Next?" "One glass of brandy." "Next?" "A fight."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Bar Jokes (Bar Fight Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Whiskey Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bar Chat

A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation. He turns to bartender and says, "Hey, about those Democrats in the Congress ..."
"Look pal, I don't allow talk about politics in my bar!" interrupted the bartender.
A few minutes later the guy tried again, "People say about the Pope.."
"NO religion talk, either," the bartender cuts in.
One more try to break the boredom, "I thought the Yankees would..."
"NO sports talk. That's how fights start in bars!" the barman said.
"Look, how about sex. Can I talk to you about sex?"
"Sure, that we can talk about," replies the barkeep.
"Great. Go screw yourself."

Categories: Bar Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Twisted Logic

An alcoholic is just someone who is having a medicinal drink for a terminal illness
 

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Suicide Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Funny Thoughts
Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips