The Hunter

A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a hound running along beside him. He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar. After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's doing. And the guy replies  "I'm hunting you idiot ... can't you see that!" "OK, OK .."  says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you hunt ?".Immediately the hunter says, " Do you have any cheap Gin!?". Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff,  is there anything else you'd like ? "."No" says the hunter and he starts to leave. As he reaches the door the barman calls after him, "By the way pal... exactly what do you hunt?" " I hunt for cheap gin you bumbling idiot! Couldn't you tell that .  I'm a BarGIN Hunter!"

Arms, Heads, IQ

Q: What has 72 arms and 36 heads and has an I.Q. of 12?
A: A redneck bar on friday night

Redneck At The Bar

A bartender was washing glasses one afternoon when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too. The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who moved very slowly. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar. The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too. The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, too. As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door. Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!"