Bar Jokes

Clearing It

A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangeled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he finishes the disgusted bartender says, "Why in the hell did you shit on my bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Bar Trick Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Singing in a Bar Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Redneck Driving

Rednecks don't let friends drive home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them.

Categories: Redneck Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Anonymous

Scottish Builder

A Scottish old timer is in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man. The 0ld Man speaks, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the Fence-Builder? Nooooo!"  Then the old man gestured at the bar.  "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the Bar Builder? Nooooooo!"  Then the old man points out the window.  "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea... Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the Pier-Builder? Nooooo!"  Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention and says: "But ya fuck one goat......"

Categories: Bar Jokes , Sex Jokes (Bestiality Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous