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The best jokes and joke writers!

Mid-Term Accident

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road after a mid-term election party, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

Exxon Mobil

Q: Is Exxon Mobile rstructuring their workforce because of $30 oil?

A: Yes, they had to lay off 25 Congressmen!

Clinton Doctor

One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says, "I can't figure out what it is. So I'll give you some medicine, and if it doesn't work, come back and I'll give you something else."

So Clinton takes the prescription and takes the pills as directed and comes back in 2 weeks. The physician then hands him a different prescription and he comes back in 3 weeks this time. Then, instead of giving him a prescription he gives him a small tube-like capsule.

The doctor says, "Rub this around the offending circle and come back tomorrow. Clinton returns the next day and exclaims, "Wow! That stuff was terrific doc! What was that last concoction? It worked great!"

The doctor calmly replied, "Lipstick remover."

Welcome to the 21st Century Where Everything is Less

Our phones, wireless

Cooking, fireless

Cars ~ Keyless

Tires ~ Tubeless

Dress ~ Sleeveless

Youth ~ Jobless

Women ~ Topless

Leaders ~ Shameless

Relationships ~ Meaningless

Attitude ~ Careless

Wives ~ Fearless

Babies ~ Fatherless

Feelings ~ Heartless

Education ~ Valueless

Children ~ Mannerless

Everything is becoming LESS but still our hopes are ~ Endless.

In fact we are ~ Speechless

And Government is ~ CLUELESS!!

And our Politicians are ~ WORTHLESS!!
 

Yo Mama - Lincoln

Yo mama so fat, when she sits on a penny Lincoln dies once again!