Bar Jokes

I Wish It Were Dark

Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way through a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. One drunk says "I sure wish that sheep were Marilyn Monroe." The other says, "I just wish it were dark."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Sheep Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Bestiality Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Original Horse Joke

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Horse Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Ostrich & Pussy Cat

A man walked into a pub with an ostrich and a pussy cat.
He walked up the the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whiskey for the cat."
They found a table, sat down and drank their drinks. After they finished their drinks, it was the ostrich's turn to buy a round.
The ostrich walked up to the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the man, whiskey for the cat."
He took the drinks back to the table and they drank them. When it was the cat's turn to buy, he told them "Fuck off!"
So the man went back to the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich and whiskey for the cat."
The Barman was curious about this and said "I notice that you and the ostrich have both bought a round, but the cat hasn't. Why is this?".
The man replied, "I helped a little old lady across the road, and she turned out to be my Fairy Godmother. She granted me one wish."
"What did you wish for?" asked the Barman.
"I wished for a long legged bird with a tight pussy!"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Animal in Bar Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous