Texas Sheriff Exam
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department.
After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview. The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted.
We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens,
six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists,
and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.
"You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"
Q: Why doesn't Obama like watching the ball drop on New Year's Eve?
A: It pretty-much sums up his accomplishments for the year.
Q: How will history remember Bill Clinton?
A: The President after Bush.
Biden Pickup Line
So, Joe Biden walks into a bar and sees a hot, young woman sitting alone at a table....
....He sits down next to her and says “So...do I come here often?”
As part of her 'Green New Deal', Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez recently suggested that we should be harvesting more energy from the sun. She proposed a fleet of conventional rockets loaded with special solar batteries that would travel to the Sun and collect energy. Scientists challenged her plan suggesting that the ships would burn-up before they even got close!" Ocasio-Cortez responded, "DUH . . . Not if you go at night!"