Bar Jokes

Stumbling and Mumbling

A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes a woman walking her dog. The man stops her and asks, "Hey where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replies, "Listen you drunken bastard, that's a dog not a pig." The man then said, "Take it easy, I was talking to the dog"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Insult Jokes (Fat Insult Jokes) , Insult Jokes (Ugly Insult Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Fat Jokes)
Anonymous

St. Patrick's Day

Q: What's the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?
A: On St. Patrick's Day everyone wishes they were Irish.

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes) , Racist Jokes (Black Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Apple Watch Ultra Pro

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "I work for Apple and I'm testing the new Ultra Pro Watch." The intrigued woman says, "Ultra Pro? What's so special about it?" "It has new sensors and sends messages to me through my wrist" he explains. "What's it telling you now?" she asked. "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties," he said. The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!" The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

Categories: Bar Jokes (Introduction Jokes) , Pickup Lines (Guy to Girl)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous