Yo mama so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo Mama - All My Children
Yo mama so ugly, I went to her house, saw her TV was covered with cockroaches, asked her what she was watching, and she said 'All My Children'.
Dave's Adventure In A Cave (Limerick)
There once was a man named Dave, who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit and missing one tit, but think of the money he saved!
Someone stopped me today and asked me for directions to the nearest cosmetic surgeon. I gave them detailed instructions on how to get there, then they turned round and said "Well if you know the way, why haven't you been there you ugly bastard?"
Haunted House Position
I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.