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The best jokes and joke writers!

Yo Mama - Disturbing The Peace

Yo mama so ugly she stuck her head out the window and was arrested for disturbing the peace!

Failed Attempt

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Mommy?" "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

Rude and Crude

You look old enough to be your own father.

You should go to work for Maytag as an agitator

He traced his genealogy back to royalty ---- King Kong

Someone called you a pompous ass, but I came to your defense. I said you are not pompous.

You’ve had a free ride all your life ---- on the rear legs of a horse.

Talk about being backward, you’re not a little behind---you’re a big one.

You’ve got a bald head --- on the inside.

You’re not bald. You just have an extra larger part in your hair.

Shakespeare and your mother certainly knew how to produce tragedies.

Sex must be wicked. Look at how your parents were punished for indulging in it.

You should be glad you were born. No one else is!

He had to be born cesarean. When his mother saw his head, she wasn’t going to let him out.

He was a test-tube baby. The experiment failed.

When you were born, did they quarantine the maternity ward?

Do your parents remember your birthday by doing penance?

When you were born the first thing the doctor did was pat you on the back to make you cry, and then he patted your mother on the back to make her stop crying.

If your parents are worriers I can see why.

At least there is one good thing about your body. It isn’t as ugly as your face.

Yo Mama - Goldfish

Yo mama so ugly even Goldfish crackers don't smile back.

Yo Mama - Sunshine

Yo mama so ugly, when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the clouds.