God Created Alcohol
Q: Why did God create alcohol?
A: So ugly people could have sex, too.
A woman goes to a doctor named Dr. Wong. "Doctor, I can't get a date, no one will go out with me!" In a very thick Asian accent, Dr. Wong says, "Take off clothes and get on all four hands and knees." She does. "Now crawl to wall." She does so and looks back at him. "I know what wrong." “What is it Doctor! What do I have?" "You have Ed Zachary disease." "Ed Zachary disease? What is that?!" "You face look Ed Zachary like you ass!"
Yo Mama - Goldfish
Yo mama so ugly even Goldfish crackers don't smile back.
Yo Mama - Sunshine
Yo mama so ugly, when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the clouds.
Yo Mama - All My Children
Yo mama so ugly, I went to her house, saw her TV was covered with cockroaches, asked her what she was watching, and she said 'All My Children'.