Bar Jokes

Native Customs

A Native American walks into a bar with a cat, a bag of shit and a shotgun. He asks for a bottle of whiskey and immediately downs it. He throws the bag of shit up in the air, shoots it with his shotgun, and takes a big bite of the cat's ass. The bartender asks, "Buddy, what the hell are you doing?" The Native American responds, "I want to be like the white man: get drunk, shoot the shit and eat pussy."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Native American Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (American Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Going To A Lecture

There was a man, who was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.

Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Anonymous

Marriage Advice

My marriage counselor said, "When your wife annoys you, go to your happy place." I replied, "That'll make things worse. She hates when I go to the bar."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , One-Liner Jokes , Bar Jokes
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Written By: KielPhillips