Bar Jokes

Going To A Lecture

There was a man, who was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.

Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Anonymous

Proctologists and Bartenders

Q: What's the difference between a proctologist and a bartender?
A: The proctologist only handles one a**hole at a time.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Bar Jokes , Profession Jokes (Proctologist Jokes) , Riddles
Anonymous

Debate for the Best Bar

A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman sit in a pub and discuss the best pubs around. The Englishman says, "There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every one that you buy." The Scot is not impressed and says, "That's nothing! In the Highlands, every time you buy a drink, the landlord buys you five." The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says, "That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar closes, he takes you into a room and makes love to you." The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies "No, but my sister told me all about it."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Scottish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Bar Jokes
Anonymous