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The best jokes and joke writers!

Duck Heaven

Once upon a time there was three sisters that went to duck heaven. St. Patrick welcomed them and said, "We are happy to have you here in Duck Heaven, but I warn you if you step on a duck in Duck Heaven you will be chained to the ugliest man on Earth!" So, the three girls were really careful where they stepped. After a week the first girl stepped on a duck... so, she was chained to the ugliest man on Earth! After a month the second sister stepped on a duck... so, she was chained to the second ugliest man on the Earth! After a year in Duck Heaven the third sister never ever stepped on a duck so St. Patrick said, "You have been very good here in Duck Heaven so we have a treat for you!" So, she was chained to the most handsome and perfect man on the Earth! "What did I do to deserve you?" she asked the man. "Well I don't know about you lady," replied the man. "But I stepped on a duck!!!"

Duck Treat

Q: What do ducks like to eat?

A: Quackers!

Duck Rise

Q: What time does a duck wake up?

A: At the quack of dawn!

Slam Duck

Q: What do you call a duck who plays basketball?

A: A slam duck.

Drugged Duck

Q: What drug was the duck on?

A: Qwack!