Elephant's Pints

Q: What's gray and comes in pints?
A: An elephant.

Movie Love

My girlfriend told me "To make love to me like they do in the movies"
Long story short, I'm due in court soon. Guess we don't watch the same kind of movies.

Bad Dream

This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face. "Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again." "What dream?" asked the shrink, not really paying attention. "You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse?"