A guy was wondering what being a suicide bomber was like
So I told him, "C4 yourself"
Dress to Kill
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
Five out of six people are okay with Russian Roulette
Hero in a Mental Hospital
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office and said, "Kevin, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. But, I'm sorry to tell you that the man you saved later hung himself." "He didn't hang himself," Kevin replied, "I hung him up to dry."
Q: How do frogs die?
A: They Kermit suicide!