Cat Actors

Q: What do cat actors say on stage?
A: Tabby or not tabby!

Puzzling Question

I have discovered the answer to a question that has been puzzling scientists for hundreds of years.
Q: What is the exact difference between a split second and a nanosecond?
A: My girlfriend and I were getting ready to go to a movie when, right as we were about to leave home, my girlfriend asked me the question all guys dread. She asked, “Does this make my butt look big?” If I had said “no” in a nanosecond, we’d have been out the door. Since I took a split second, she had to go to the mall and buy new outfits with jewelry, shoes, and purses to match.

Blonde, Rope and Handcuffs

A Blonde woman was standing near a train platform in New York with a pair of handcuffs and some rope. A gentleman being curious asked the blonde what the handcuffs and rope were for. The blonde responded by saying, "The news reported a runaway train heading to New York and I want the reward for the capture."