Word Play Jokes

Baby Soon

A pregnant woman hobbles into the hospital, one hand on her back. A nurse asks her what’s wrong, and the pregnant woman screams, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Didn’t!” The nurse shakes her head and says, “I’m sorry…I don’t understand.” The pregnant woman’s face contorts in pain as she shouts, “Can’t! Won’t! Don’t!” The nurse, bewildered, turns to a doctor. “Admit her,” the doctor said. “She’s having contractions.”

Categories: Word Play Jokes , Profession Jokes (ER Doctor Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Pregnancy Jokes)
Submitted BY: bornagainredditor

Jesus Has Risen

Easter is approaching. Father O'Maley checks estimates for the flower decoration of the altar. The catholic florist charges $300. "Too expensive" moans the priest. The protestant florist charged $250, "No, it would not be right to buy at another Christian believer, especially as the price difference is rather small." However, Solly Goldberg charges $75! Religion or economics? After much consideration, Solly obtains the contract. On Easter Sunday morning, Goldberg's men deliver the flowers: wonderful roses, azaleas, camellias, tulips and carnations. O'Maley's last reservations are discarded. When the parishioners arrive in the church, they see the magnificent flower arrangement and a ribbon with the inscription: "Jesus has risen! But the prices of Goldberg always stay the same."

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Money Jokes , Word Play Jokes , Holiday Jokes (Easter Jokes)
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Anonymous

Knock Knock - Gabor

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Gabor!
Gabor who!
Gabor'n to shop!

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Knock-Knock Jokes , Riddles , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous