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The best jokes and joke writers!

New York City to England

This lady who was living in New York City had to get back to her old country but she was broke. One day she wandered down to the docks and spotted a worker getting ready to load supplies onto a boat. "Please I need to get back to England" she pleaded. "If you sneak me onboard tonight I'll give you favors all the way across the ocean." Well needless to say later that night he put her in a duffel bag and carried her onboard. Down in the hold where she was hidden he said, "When I bring you some food, twice a day, I'll collect." And being true to her word she agreed. This went on for about a week when by accident the captain found her. "Please don't get angry," she started to say and explained the story to the captain who busted up laughing. "Why are you laughing?" she demanded. He said, "Because you're on the Staten Island Ferry."

West Virginia Virgin

Q: How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?

A: If she can run faster that her brothers.

Blonde - Indiana

Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?

A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

I Love You in 9 Languages


English - I Love you

Spanish - Te Amo

French - Je T'aime

German - Ich Liebe Dich

Japanese - Ai Shite Imasu

Italian - Ti Amo

Chinese - Wo Ai Ni

Swedish - Jag Alskar

Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Mississippi, North Carolina and Kentucky - Nice Tits

Baseball Nuns

Three nuns went to a baseball game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men were frustrated because their habits were blocking their view. So they came up with a plan to make them leave. ''I think I'll move to California, there's only 50 Catholics there," said the first man. "I think I'll move to Washington, there's only 25 Catholics there.'' "I think I'll move to Idaho, there's only 10 Catholics there.'' Then one of the nuns turned around. "Go to Hell, there are NO Catholics there."