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The best jokes and joke writers!

Truck Black Box

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states, the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!" Only the state of Alabama was different, where 96.4 percent of the final words were "Hey Y'all, hold my beer and watch this!"

Alabama Grades

Q: Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA?

A: Because it has 4 A's and one B!

Alabama Fishing Trip

A salesman from Cincinnati traveled to Alabama for a company meeting. He couldn't get a flight back home till Sunday so he decided to spend Saturday fishing.  He went to Cabela's and found a great deal on rods, reels and a loaded tackle box. He rented a kayak at Guntersville lake and headed out in search of bass.

He was only 15 minutes from shore when the trolling motor stopped working.  When he realized that the rental company only gave him one oar, he decided to seek help.

He saw a man with two beautiful women on his boat who also had a spare oar. "Excuse me, may I borrow one of your oars?" he yelled. The other man appeared offended and yelled back,  "Thems ain't 'ores, thems me sisters!"

Alabama Welcome

This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Iowa." The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says, "I mount animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"

Three Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery

Q: Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery?

A: 3 dollars a year for a million years.