We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Californians to Change Lightbulb 2

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Five - one to screw it in and four to sit in the hot tub and discuss the environmental impact.

Just In Time

A long time resident of San Francisco is packing all his stuff into boxes. His roommate comes in & asks what he's doing. "I'm leaving !" he replies. "They just made homosexuality legal." "So why leave now ?" queries his roomie. "Gays have been part of the scene here for years and years." "Yeah, I know." he replied. "I'm getting the hell out of here before the damn fools make it compulsory."

Alien Laws

A Californian and an Texan were deer hunting in the brush of south Texas when an illegal alien runs across a clearing. The Texan takes careful aim, shoots and kills him. "You can't do that!" cried the Californian. "It's legal here in Texas " replies the Texan.

Later that night the Californian goes to town to buy some beer from Walmart. He puts the beer on the roof of his truck and while he's making room behind the seat, an illegal alien runs by, grabs the beer and runs away. The Californian draws his pistol, shoots and kills him. As he is retrieving his beer the police come and arrest him.

"But I thought it was legal to shoot illegal aliens here in Texas!" protests the Californian. "Well, yeah," says the cop, "but you can't use bait."

New Factory

The president of ABC decided that it was time to build a new factory. He asked representatives from three development companies to come in and make a bid on the project. The three companies showed up at the scheduled meeting. The president of ABC asked the first company, Bruin Construction, whose president earned his MBA from UCLA, " How much will your company charge for this project?"

"2 million," said Bruin. "1 million for materials and 1 million for labor."

Then president then asks the same question to the second company, Cardinal Construction, whose president earned his MBA from Stanford. Cardinal answered, "3 million, 1.5 million for materials, 1.3 million for labor, and 0.2 million for licenses and permits."

Finally, the president asks the last company , Trojan Construction, whose president earned his MBA from USC. Trojan answered, " 4 million."

"FOUR MILLION," yelled the president of ABC. "How do you breakdown the cost?"

Trojan replied, "1 million for you, 1 million for me, and 2 million to get the guy from UCLA to build the factory!

More Californians to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A: Eleven. One to change it and ten to follow the trend.