U.S. State Jokes - California Jokes
Deer Hunters in L.A.
Q: Where in L.A. can a deer hunter find does in season year round?
A: Venison Beach
We Got a Lot of Those
Three cowboys, a Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian, were sitting around a campfire smoking, drinking and having a good time. The Texan takes a full bottle of the finest tequila, throws it up in the air and shoots it to pieces. The Californian and Oregonian are clearly dismayed at that show, and ask "Now what'd you go and do THAT for?" The Texan just drawled "Where I come from, we got a lot of those."
Not to be outdone, the Californian reaches in his saddle bag and pulls out a full bottle of the best Californian wine there is. He throws the bottle in the air, whips out his gun, and shoots it to pieces. The Oregonian and the Texan both groan, but the Californian is quick to point out, "Where I come from, we've got a lot of those."
Next the Oregonian pulls out a bottle of the best microbrew beer that Portland makes. He throws the bottle high up in the air, takes out his gun, shoots the Californian, catches the bottle, and proceeds to drink the beer. Horrified, the Texan asks why he would go and do a thing like that. "Well, where I come from, we got a lot of those, but the bottle's worth a nickel."
Just In Time
A long time resident of San Francisco is packing all his stuff into boxes. His roommate comes in & asks what he's doing. "I'm leaving !" he replies. "They just made homosexuality legal." "So why leave now ?" queries his roomie. "Gays have been part of the scene here for years and years." "Yeah, I know." he replied. "I'm getting the hell out of here before the damn fools make it compulsory."
Californian Light Bulb Experience
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six. One to screw it in, one for support, and four to share the experience. This joke was once overheard being told by a lecturer to a class of students during a lecture, in order to make a point about the fact that only one student was doing any work at the terminal while a whole bunch had crowded round to watch - sharing the experience of him doing the work.
The president of ABC decided that it was time to build a new factory. He asked representatives from three development companies to come in and make a bid on the project. The three companies showed up at the scheduled meeting. The president of ABC asked the first company, Bruin Construction, whose president earned his MBA from UCLA, " How much will your company charge for this project?"
"2 million," said Bruin. "1 million for materials and 1 million for labor."
Then president then asks the same question to the second company, Cardinal Construction, whose president earned his MBA from Stanford. Cardinal answered, "3 million, 1.5 million for materials, 1.3 million for labor, and 0.2 million for licenses and permits."
Finally, the president asks the last company , Trojan Construction, whose president earned his MBA from USC. Trojan answered, " 4 million."
"FOUR MILLION," yelled the president of ABC. "How do you breakdown the cost?"
Trojan replied, "1 million for you, 1 million for me, and 2 million to get the guy from UCLA to build the factory!