Is Eve an African?

Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!

Golf Confession

A man walks into a church and sits in the confession booth. He says to the priest, “Father, I have sinned; I was golfing yesterday and I cursed.” The priest replies, “Would you like to tell me about it?” “Well,” the guy says. “I was on the seventh hole, and I’d just hit my best drive of the day. It was straight ahead, middle of the fairway, and a long way out there. Feeling pretty good about myself, I walked toward my ball, but as I got within thirty feet of it, a squirrel ran out of the forest and grabbed my ball.” The priest interrupts, “Oh, I see, that’s when you cursed.” The man replies, “No, Father, I didn’t curse then. But as the squirrel was running away, it reached the edge of the fairway and was quickly caught by a hawk, which flew up high into the air.” Once again the priest interrupts, “So that’s when you cursed?” The man continues, “No, Father, the hawk started flying away, and I followed it, because it flew in the direction of the green. As it passed over the green, it dropped the squirrel out of its talons, causing the squirrel to drop my ball about three feet from the pin.”  The priest says: "Don't tell me you missed the fucking putt."

Nun's Underpants

Three nuns used to go to the church from their homes every day. On the way they would pass a house where a parrot lived. The parrot would call out three colors every time the nuns would pass by. They soon realized that the parrot was calling out the colors of their respective underpants. They tried to fool the parrot by switching positions while walking and even wearing different colored underpants every day, but the parrot was never wrong. Finally they devised a way to fool the parrot by not wearing any underpants at all. When they walked across the house the parrot spoke out loud, ''Straight, straight, curly.''