Q: How do frogs die?
A: They Kermit suicide!
Two Blonde Jokes
Q: Want to hear two blonde jokes?
A: Listen to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.
Yo Mama - Freddy Krueger
Yo mama so ugly, she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares!
John Wayne Toilet Paper
Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented. An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods. Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper. And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest. The next day, the Indian was looking over the different types of toilet paper and asked the clerk how much the Soft and Gentle was. "That'd be $2.50" said the clerk. "Too much." mumbled the Indian, "How about the 'Gentle'?" "That one's $2," answered the clerk. "Still too much," complained the Indian, "anything cheaper?" "Well," replied the clerk, "We do have a generic kind." "What generic mean?" asked the Indian. "It means it doesn't have a name, and it's only 50 cents." "Me take that." said the Indian. The next day, the Indian returns to the trading post and tells the clerk, "Me have name for generic toilet paper." "Oh," says the clerk, "What's the name?" "Me call it John Wayne... it's rough, tough and it take no crap from Indian."
A black man finds Leonardo DiCaprio's wallet on the ground. Some days later he's stopped by the police while driving erratically on the interstate. They asked him for his ID and he hands them the one he found. The officer looks at the ID and back to the man. He reads aloud, "First Name: Leonardo, last name: DiCaprio." He looks at the driver, a bit perplexed. "Hair: blonde, eyes: blue." Looks at him again. Then the cop called his partner and asked, "Hey Bob, did the Titanic sink or burn?"