Q: How do frogs die?
A: They Kermit suicide!
Caitlyn Jenner Speaks Out
I hate when people say my skirt looks slutty
Like, who cares if my balls hang out a little?
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly.
I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was.
Apparently Bruce Jenner was "inappropriate."
Q: How did Kim Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner become famous?
A: They both made a trouser snake disappear.