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The best jokes and joke writers!

Knock Knock - Cow

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Cow goes.

Cow goes who?

No, cow goes "Moo!"

Birdie Poem

Birdie, birdie in the sky

Dropped some white stuff in my eye

I'm a big girl I won't cry

I'm just glad that cows don't fly

High Tech Milking Machine

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away. So he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on, and voila, everything else was automatic! He really had a good time as the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. However, when the fun was over, he found that he could not take the instrument off. He read the manual, but did not find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument - some made the equipment squeeze, shake, or suck harder or less - but still he had no success getting out of it. Panicking, he just barely reached the phone and called the supplier's customer service hotline. The farmer: "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It worked fantastic. But how can I take it off from the cow's udder?" Customer Service: "Don't worry. The machine was programmed to release automatically after collecting about 2 gallons of milk."

Nearest Hotel Stop

A giant storm forces a man to pull over at the nearest hotel. The keeper says, "Alright, but there are 18 pigs in the room." The man says, "OK, I'll take it." The storm persists and another man asks for a room. The keeper says, "Alright, but there are 18 cows in the room." The man says, "OK, I'll take it." Finally, a third man asks for a room. The keeper says, "Alright, I have one room left, and it's filled with my 18 beautiful daughters." The man says, "OK, I'll take it." The next morning the three men talk in the lobby. The first man says that he feels like a pig. The second man says that he feels like a cow. The third man says, "Wow, I feel like a golfer!"

Cows Night Out

Q: Where do cows go on a Saturday night?

A: To the moo-vies!