Relationship Jokes - Dating Jokes

Three of Us

A couple of years ago, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my new roommate Joe barged into the room from nowhere, tripped and broke the glass table with his face. It totally ruined the moment. I didn't know Joe that well, didn't know where he was from, but i put my proposal on hold just to help him with his injuries.
Joe had shards of glass removed from his eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared along with my girlfriend.
Apparently they bonded during the time he was recovering and had eloped together, leaving me behind without even a note. I tried tracking them down, but to no avail.
In conclusion, if it hadn't been for the cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

Anonymous

Knock Knock - Kiss

Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Kiss
Kiss who?
Kissimmee!

Copyright © 2014 - Ariyanna Johnson - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: Ariyanna Johnson

Couple

There's a couple that has been dating for a while. As much as he wants to, she won't sleep with him, because she's saving her virginity for marriage. Just as they were kissing, he's becoming hotter and hotter, and he said, "Oh come on, just a feel." To which she replies, "No, I'm saving myself for marriage!" They went back and forth. He said, "Just one feel, I promise, that's all, just one feel." She finally agreed, "Okay, just one feel, but that's all, just one, I'm saving myself for marriage." So he puts his hand down her panties and takes a little feel. Things are getting a lot warmer and he asks, "Can't we please?" She of course states, "NO, I'm saving myself for marriage." He says, "Please, please?" and she says, "No, absolutely not, I'm saving myself for marriage." He says, "How about if I agree to only just put the tip in?" She says, "No way, I'm saving myself for marriage." He begs and pleads with her, "I promise, just the tip, no more,and we'll stop after that." She finally gives in, "Okay, but just the tip, no more, and that's all." He says okay and pulls down her panties and puts the tip in... he's so hot and ready that he can't control himself shoves it the whole way in and starts going to town... she meanwhile is moaning and groaning and shouts, "Okay, go ahead and put it the whole way in!!" A little stunned, he says, "No no...absolutely not, a deals a deal!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous