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The best jokes and joke writers!

You Might Be A Redneck 56

You might be a redneck if...

  • The neighborhood dogs are afraid to come around your house because the fowl are big enough to hurt them.
  • You have ever had to climb up on the roof of an out building to get down any fowl that was frozen to the roof.
  • You have ever worried more about the outbuildings freezing than your vehicles.
  • You have ever had deer graze in your front yard close enough to the house that you could throw a rock and hit them.
  • You have ever dug up your driveway to fix your water line.
  • You have ever had to get up quickly in the morning in order to let the goat out before she dropped raisins on the kitchen floor.
  • Your wife is the only one that the geese will allow into the laundry room.
  • Any of your children learned to make very realistic animal noises before they learned to talk.
  • You have to stop a leak in your flat-bottom boat with gum and chewing tobacco.
  • You have to pay your hair care professional in weekly installments of $3.00.

Redneck Walk

You might be a redneck if...

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to relieve yourselves.

Redneck Explosion

You might be a redneck if you light a match in the bathroom, and your house explodes right off its wheels.

Redneck Reception

You might be a redneck if...

...it's easier to rotate your home than your TV antenna.

Pick Up Chicks

You know you're a red neck when you go to family reunions to pick up chicks!