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The best jokes and joke writers!

You Might Be A Redneck If - 16

You might be a redneck if...

  • You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
  • You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
  • You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
  • You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
  • You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
  • You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
  • You've never paid for a haircut.
  • You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
  • There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
  • You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".

Redneck Walk

You might be a redneck if...

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to relieve yourselves.

Redneck Explosion

You might be a redneck if you light a match in the bathroom, and your house explodes right off its wheels.

Redneck Reception

You might be a redneck if...

...it's easier to rotate your home than your TV antenna.

Pick Up Chicks

You know you're a red neck when you go to family reunions to pick up chicks!