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The best jokes and joke writers!

Clever Teacher

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever." A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Move Your Cars Please.

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the high school intercom:  "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:  "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class."

Ghost Boogie

Q: Why don't ghosts like to go to prom?

A: Because they have no body to dance with.

Discovering America

A Geography teacher stands in front of a map of the world.

Geography Teacher: Tony, can you tell me where in the world America is placed on this map?

Tony shows him America.

Geography Teacher: Now, Lisa, can you tell me the name of the guy who discovered America?

Lisa: Tony did!!

Hello 101

Q: What school teaches you how to greet people?

A: Hi School.