Relationship Jokes

Vasectomy

I thought getting a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant.
But all it did was change the color of the baby.

Submitted BY: Kemp2288

Full Disclosure

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist tells him that the condoms come in packs of three, nine, or 12, and asks which ones the young man wants. "Well," he says, "Ive been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's the night. We're having dinner with her parents and then we're going out. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack!" The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he may give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: ocastro

Wife vs Job

Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job will still suck.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous