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Sex Jokes - Denied Sex Jokes
Silly Superstition
"Say, how old are you anyway?" the reporter asked as the obviously young lass was disrobing. "Thirteen." she replied with a shy smile. "Thirteen? My God girl! You get those clothes back on at once and get the hell outta here! Are you crazy?" he thundered. Pausing briefly at the door as she left, the perplexed nymphet smiled and said, "Superstitious, huh?"
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Bull Auction
One fine Sunday afternoon, a couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:
"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments, "See? That was more than 5 times a month!"
The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."
Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month.What do YOU say to that?!" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"
The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, "Sure, once a day! But ask the announcer if they were all with the same fat cow!!"
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Wife Wins
This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan. Man: "What was that for?" Wife: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?" Man: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on." The wife looked all satisfied and goes off to work around the house. Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting. Man: "What the hell was that for this time?" Wife: "Your horse called."
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