Wrong Approach

A man comes home from work, his wife greets him at the door and he asks, "Is dinner ready yet?!?" She grabs him and points across the street, as a husband comes home and tenderly kisses his wife. She says, "Why can't you do that?" The husband responds, "Well, I haven't met her yet."

That's Happiness

The friends of the bride decided to give the newlyweds a tape recording of the couple making love on their honeymoon night as a gag wedding gift. They accomplished this by hiding a tape recording under the newlywed's bed that evening. Before they gave the recorded tape to her, they played the tape and heard her moaning to her new husband, "That's happiness! That's happiness!" But her voice sounded funny and they discovered that they were playing the tape at the wrong speed. When they slowed the tape down to the correct pitch, they were surprised to hear her shouting at him, "That's a penis?! That's a penis?!"

Henry VIII

Q: Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?
A: He liked to chop and change!