Business Laws II

Gumperson's Law: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.
H. L. Mencken's Law: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.
Martin's Extension: Those who cannot teach, administrate.
Hacker's Law: The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
Hall's Laws of Politics: 1) The voters want fewer taxes and more spending. 2) Citizens want honest politicians until they want something fixed. 3) Constituency drives out consistency (i.e., liberals defend military spending, and conservatives social spending in their own districts).
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Hanson's Treatment of Time: There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.
Harp's Corollary To Estridge's Law: Your "IBM PC-compatible" computer grows more incompatible with every passing moment. 

Pumpkin Carving

Getting in the mood for Halloween. I've just carved up a pumpkin.
That kid regretted his costume choice.

Night Shift

Q: What's another name for policemen when they're in bed?
A: Undercover cops.